Sora's Vengefully Bad Hair Gel Day~~
by Leafeon
Summary: A strange, sick and twister story form the author who brought you such titles as Midnight Snack with the Digidestined!! What happens when you can't decide on a couple? Throw 'em all in and see what happens!


  
  
*You see an empty stage*  
  
Leafeon: Ahem!*waves arms about* Down here! Yes, the little green thing! I have an important message!  
  
Perr: Just shut up and play the message.  
  
Leafeon*pulls out a small Victrola and pops a record on*  
  
Victrola(in Leafeon's voice) I do not own Digimon, or any characters thereof.  
  
Leafeon: For anyone who is interested, the Victrola's for rent. Now for a small warning: This fic is strange, twisted and may/may not contain severe character bashing!!   
  
Perr: Now on with the fic!  
  
~Sora's Vengefully Bad Hair-Gel Day~  
  
It was a dark, stormy night. No. Really, it was a bright summery morning, to tell the truth, but what kind of setting is that to tell a story of revenge? Fine.  
  
It was a bright summery morning. All seemed peaceful in the Takenouchi house. Sora rolled over, fought against waking up, and lost. "Yaaawwwnnn. 'Morning, Biyomon, she said, turning to her digimon.   
"Hmm.....ah? Oh, Good morning Sora," said Biyomon as she woke. Sora stretched and looked at her clock radio. "Two O' Clock? Wow, I really slept in, good thing it's Sunday," She rubbed her eyes and got up to leave. "Come on, Biyomon, let's get some breakfast"  
Sora sighed as she reached the empty kitchen. "I guess Mom and Dad already left. Oh well." Biyomon plugged in the coffee maker and began getting the fixings for omelets out.  
"Biyomon," said Sora," Whoever heard of a Japanese omelet?" She helped Biyomon with the pots, which threatened to fall at any moment. As she put the pots back, she glanced at the kitchen table.  
Something was wrong. It looked as though two people had forgotten to clean up after eating.   
"That's odd," Sora remarked. "My parents always clean up." She approached the table, and looked it over carefully. As she ran her fingers down the wood, she came upon something globular, clear and wet.  
  
Hair-Gel.  
  
"What? Don't tell me, Tai or Matt must be here." Sora said and looked about. On the floor, more shining globs of the big-hair-styling wonder went down the hall to the spare bedroom. She followed them, Biyomon trailing. "Maybe one of them came to their senses and came back to grovel." She smiled a very evil and most un-sora like smile. As she came to the door, she turned to her digimon. "So, who do you think it is?"  
Biyomon shrugged. "Could be either, Sora. Open the door and find out"  
Sora opened the door, and she and Biyomon peeked in. Sora gave a short scream and slammed the door again. "Biyomon.... Tell me I didn't see Matt and Tai in there.... Together."  
Biyomon twitched nervously an plickked her claws "I'm afraid, Sora, If I said that... I'd be lying."  
*********************************************************************  
Matt turned to Tai "Tai, tell me I did not just see Sora in the doorway."  
Tai looked very, very scared as he said, "If I told you that, I'd be lying."   
"Ut oh."  
*********************************************************************  
  
Sora ran as fast as her feet would carry her back to her bedroom. Would she break down and cry? Would she call a friend? No. Sora wanted REVENGE, and she wanted it now! "Biyomon, where's my tennis racket?"  
"Sora, Maybe you should th--  
"Where-is-my-tennis-racket?"  
"This really isn't logica--  
"To hell with Logic!! Where is it?  
Biyomon sighed a long-held sigh of endurance."It's behind the dresser." Sora ran, grabbed the racket in one hand and Biyomon in the other, and sprinted through the halls, stopping at the spare room, and charging in like a bullmon.  
Tai and Matt were furiously trying to get their clothes back on, and were pretty stunned when Sora charged in. "Sora... I-I Can explain!" pleaded Tai as he fell over, his legs in the same pant leg. Matt was in much better shape, having put each leg in it's place, and ran out the window. Sora saw the world through a curtain of red as she beat Tai senseless(Not that he had much sense to begin with.)  
  
*******************************************************************  
All of the 02 Digidestined were at Odaiba school, and were just about ready to go to the Digital world when suddenly, Matt burst through the door, looking bed(no pun intended)raggled and minus a shirt.   
"What, uh, What happened to you Matt?" Yolei said, trying not to stare at Matt. Ken waved his arms about wildly, trying to attract Yolei's attention again, but lost it to Matt's over bearing charm. (And the fact Matt wasn't wearing a shirt didn't help Ken all that much either)  
"Must-Get--to---digital world!" Matt said, gasping for breath. When Yolei hesitated, he grabbed the D-3 out of her hand, and shouted, "DIGIPORT, OPEN" The computer, surprisingly enough, did as it was told, taking Matt to the digital world.  
Yolei gibbered. "He can't do that! That was MY digivice, not his! I'm calling Izzy!" She left the room, leaving the other kids to gape, stare and twitch, and Ken to run after her, shouting "Yolei, Come back, I'm smarter than Izzy any day!"  
*********************************************************************  
Sora had Tai trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey (even though I don't think they have thanksgiving in Japan. Hm.) and a solitary light bulb swung over his head as she waited for him to come to.  
*********************************************************************  
Just as the other kids were ready to go to the Digital world without Ken and Yolei (It had been half an Hour now, and they still weren't back from the telephone booth.) Izzy ran through the door.   
"Oh," Said Kari, "I guess you must have gotten Yolei's phone call."  
"Phonecall?" He said, looking bewildered. "I never got any phone call." He looked about nervously. "You haven't seen Joe, have you?"  
"No," said Davis, clearly confused (though this was his normal state of being)  
"Or Mimi?" Izzy added.   
"No," said Kari. "I though Mimi was in America."  
"That's what she wants you to think!" Izzy said, then went and hid himself in the broom closet. At that very moment, Ken and Yolei Walked through the door.   
"What took you guys?" Davis asked. Yolei mumbled something while smiling, of which Davis only caught a bunch of jibberish...something about Ken's control spire.  
"Hmmm..," said Izzy from the broom closet. He entered in his laptop -- Yolei+Ken+30 minutes over Telephone Booth X Control Spire equals.....  
He gluped "Well, that certainly shoots down Kensuke, doesn't it?"  
*******************************************************************  
Tai had awoken, and he wished he hadn't. Sora stood over him, looking very film noire, wearing a black-on-black skirt suit and smoking a cigar. She held the tennis racket imposingly in front of his face. "Now, we can do this the hard way, or we can do this the easy way," she said, somehow managing to speak Japanese with a New York mobster accent.   
Tai gulped. Despite being the holder of the crest of courage, he wasn't nuts enough to mess with a love-crazed teenager. "I pick the easy way," He said timidly, shaking, partially from fear, and partially because he was only wearing pants, and only half-wearing them at that.  
Sora seemed disappointed. She had really wanted to use that tennis racket. "What were you and Matt doing!? In MY house none the less!"  
Tai stuttered a moment. Sora sure wasn't beating the bush. "Well, Sora, after you dumped us both, we wanted to apologize, so we both came here by ourselves, but you were asleep. Your mom let us in...and we got to talking and.....you know the rest."  
"You bet I do." Sora frowned. "I'm going to get both of you for this!! Just wait until I find Matt!"  
She ran out of the room, Biyomon and trusty tennis racket in hand, out on a man-hunt for Matt.  
Just as Tai began nodding off, Agumon burst throught door. "Tai!" He yelled, and began to untie his friend.  
"Hey pal! How did you know I was here?" Tai said, rubbing the circulation back into his arms.   
"Matt sent me," said Agumon. "He escaped from Sora into the digital world, and he sent me to find you and bring you to the digital world too!"  
"Great," said Tai. "Sora will never think we hid there!" Tai got up and he and his digimon began to run towards Odaiba School.  
*********************************************************************  
"Great," said Davis. "First Matt, then Izzy, whose's next, Jo--  
Joe burst through the door "Alright! Where is he? Where's that dirty little Izumi!?"  
"I didn't mean it literally!" Davis said, grasping for air and face faulting. A small whimpering noise came from the closet, but Kari asked him at the same time,"Why are you looking for Izzy, Joe?"  
Joe looked about darkly "That little Izumi slapped my ass!" He said, still looking about for Izzy. "And I'm not the only one looking for him. Mimi's on a rampage for her exclusive slapping rights."  
"Errr...Well. He isn't here!" Kari said, fidgeting. She noticed that Ken and Yolei were missing again. Hmm. Joe sniffed the air. "Oh yes he is!"  
"What are you, some knid of bloodhound?" TK asked, watching as Joe's nose led him to the closet, which he ripped open. Izzy sat there, huddled up with his Pineapple. "H-Hi Beautiful," he said to Joe timidily, waving a hand.  
Joe lept for Izzy's throat, but at the last minute, Cody intervened. "Come on, Joe, you're the reasonable one. You know it wasn't his fault, I mean, come on, I'd do the same th--"He shove his hands over his mouth and sweatdropped "I said that out loud, didn't I?"  
Joe gritted his teeth "Yes-You-Did!" He tried to strangle them both, but only found it possible to do one at a time. The others pushed all three into the closet and locked it.  
*********************************************************************  
Sora ripped through the thick layer of grime that covered everything at the Oshida residence. She looked like a girl possessed, little bits of Matt's and TK's stuff stuck all over her. "He's got to be here somewhere!"She shouted, turning into the bathroom, where she ripped open the cabinet to find about 100 bottkes of Hair Gel.   
"Hair gel! Hair Gel! I'll give hime a Hair-Gel enema when I find him!!!" She screeched. Biyomon returned from checking the rest of the house.   
"He isn't here, Sora,"she said, talking in a small voice, trying to avoid Sora's wrath. Sora took one more look around the Oshida residence, and suddenly, something caught her eye.  
It was a picture of Matt and Gabumon. "That's it! " She said, her voice reaching decibels only a dog-whistle should. "He's in the digital world!!" Grabbing her trusty "tranquilizer" (AKA: Tennis racket) she ran out the door towards Odaiba school, Biyomon struggling to keep up behind her.   
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"Has anyone seen Ken and Yolei?" Kari said, as they had once again recuperated from the wild love-battles of the older kids. Davis shook his head, "Nope. Maybe we should leave without them. The Digital World ain't exactly going to save itself"  
Tk's eye went wide, and he turned to the others "I don't think that's our biggest probelm right now!!!" he said pointing. Kari followed his hand sighting down it until she found................  
  
Mimi.  
a very angered, ballisitic and crashing-through-the-door Mimi  
Kari gaped "Ut oh..."  
*******************************************************************  
Sora ran as she had never run before, Biyomon long before left in the dust. She saw everything through as curtain of red, mowing down pedestrians as she sped down the sidewalk. "OUTTA MY WAY!" She yelled, stopping a bus and a transit train cold in their tracks. NOBODY was a about to mess with a crazed Takenouchi!  
*********************************************************************  
"H-Hi Mimi," Yolei said, peering out from behind the computer desk. She had Ken's whip wrapped around her head like a turban. In his closet cocoon, Izzy backed away from Cody and Joe and began a new equation on his computer. He entered: Yolei+whip behind computer desk. He glupped again, restarted his computer, and entered in:Joe+Izzy-slapping rights+Mimi....Hestitating, his finger hovered over the equals button. He hit it just as Mimi ripped open the door.   
Mimi was just plain scary. Her fussed-over pink hair was a ruin, sticking up in the strangest places, and she looked as though she had bben through a mine field. Or that she was going to put Izzy through a mine field.   
"Hello, Izumi," She said, her normally perky and annoying voice soft and dangerous. Izzylooked around for any means of escape... and reliezed something. Joe and Cody were missing. Eager to take any chance he could, he shouted, "It was Cody, I tell you!"  
Mimi was never the brightest bulb in the box, and by this time she was so insane, if you told her pigs could fly, she'd ask you what airline they prefered. She shook Izzy "Where?? Where are they??"   
Izzy, being a genius--("HEY!"Ken interjected, "What about me?? The author quickly shoved him down " Duh... Dark spore enhanced??" "Aw.. Shut up!" Ken said, for lack of a better retort)--  
As I was saying...Izzy, being a genius, thought quickly "The Phone Booth!" He said, in a flash of sheer brilliance. Little did he know how correct he was*Gasp!*  
Mimi ran down the hallway, ready to wreek vengence on Cody and any who interfered. Izzy grabbed his chance, and Davis's Digivice "Thank you!" He said to Davis then turned to the computer and yelled,"I'm not giving her the time to come back! DIGIPORT OPEN!!!!"  
Davis sweatdropped, sighing. "What else can go wrong today??" He looked around. Tk and Kari were the only other ones in the room. "Where are Ken and Yolei? Jeez, Whenever you need then, they're never around!!!" He turned to the computer... and the moniter to the Digital world told him exactly where they were... and what they were doing.   
*********************************************************************  
Sora was still running, nothing was going to stop her! Her prey was in view, the Odaiba school on the horizon. She had her tennis racket and a tube of Hair-gel she ws going to be very creative with.   
From far behind Biyomon sighed. "This is SO out-of-character, Sora...."  
*********************************************************************  
Davis sighed. This couldn't get much worse. His digivice was gone, Cody was probably being brutally murdered by Mimi, Yolei and Ken were in the Digital World doing something that could not be fully explained in a pg-13 fic, Izzy had fled, and Tai and Matt.....well, Sora wasn't going to be happy.   
Something caught his (oh-so-short) attention. It was the remaining Digidestined...Tk and Kari.... And they were smiling at each other in a way Davis DID NOT like.  
He put his head in his hands. He was wrong, it had gotten worse. Suddenly, he felt a tremor all around him.   
"Wha-What the heck is that?" He asked, but Tk and Kari were in no position to notice anything he was saying.  
*********************************************************************  
Sora ran up the stairs, snuffling like a bloodhound, her prey in scent. "I got him, I got him," she kept muttering under her crazed, labored breath, along with semi-unintelligable death threats to Tai, Matt, Biyomon, and the world in general. There it was, the computer room door! Just a few more steps and...........  
*********************************************************************  
Davis's eye went wide as Sora burst through the door. She looked twice as bad as Mimi, bits of Oshida sticking all over her, a tennis racket and tube of hair gel waved threatningly in the air.  
She approached Davis, her eyes crazed with.... What was it? Hunger, greed, passion? No. Revenge. "How 'bout it Goggle Boy? You feel lucky??"  
Davis, as a matter of fact, was not, made clear by the scene that Tk and Kari were making. "N-No!" He said, and let Sora right to the computer. He suddenly relized that he didn't have a D-3, Izzy had stole his. How was Sora going to get to the digital world?  
He smiled in (Very) slow relization.  
Sora, on the other hand, was holding nothing back. Grabbing the computer, she shook it yelling, "Go ahead, Make my day! Let me into the digital world, OR ELSE!" She waved the tube of hair-gel, ready to get drastic.   
Even a inorganic computer knew not to mess with Sora at this point. Obediantly, the computer complied, sending her to the digital to wreeck vengence more horrible than Myotismon and the Digimon Emporer combined ("Hey!" Ken interjected, "That's the FORMER Digimon Emperor, OK??")  
Davis sat, twitching slightly, wondering if Sora had just become the Digital World's greatest threat. Move over Arukenymon, Sora's having a very bad hair gel day. He sighed for the third time this fic, then turned to TK and Kari, then turned back again and barfed.  
"Tk," said Kari "Why don't we go some where more private?"  
She fumbled for her D-3 "The digital world is nice this time of conquest...Oh, god, I don't have my digivice"  
Tk offered his and they both were sucked into the computer, much to Davis's chargine. He sighed, making it a personal record, four times in one fic! Grasping air with his hands and listening to Cody's distant screams, he commented "How come everyone else has relationship probelms???"  
At the last "blems" of his comment, Jun, her usual, blood-thirsty self, burst in the room and onto Davis.  
He screamed, yelling, "I didn't mean incest!!!!"   
*********************************************************************  
**THE END!**  
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Authors small comment section  
  
Leafeon: Well, there you have it!!! My first non-total-fluff fic! Hope you guys like it....though it seems a bit Sora-bashing, lemme state right now that Sora is one of my favorite characters, and no harm to her was intended! (Or Matt either (Tai can be harmed))  
This fic was written mostly on the basis of a calm disscussion (AKA: Fist-Fight) With Dark Peregrine(AKA: Caitlin Sempai) and Dana Chan on the topic of my next fic. Caitlin was a fan of Taiora and, and I like Sorato, and Dana (who is a bit twisted) wanted a Taito fic. Unable to come to a conclusion (AKA: too tired to fight anymore) I comprimised, making a strange combo of all three. As you can probably expect, this repeated in every relationship, resulting in the tangled stew you see before you.  
  
Like I Always say *Drum Roll Please*  
  
Love It, Flame It, Just Review It!!!!  
  
ps: Is it too late to plead temporary insanity???  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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